Friends: How Many of us Have Them
You’ve got a great group of friends. They’re supportive, fun to be around, and you get along well with them. But then there’s one person who seems to want nothing more than to ruin your day—and not just any person: your best friend! Now she’s making snide comments about how she hates her life and hates everyone else in it too (even though they’re all perfectly nice), while also constantly telling everyone else how much better off they are without her around…
There are people who want to be your friend, but they don’t actually like you. They might not even know that they don’t like you—they might just think that being around you will help them get something from someone else or impress someone else or whatever it is that motivates them. If this sounds familiar, then maybe your friend isn’t really a “friend” at all; maybe he’s a frienemy!
He could be jealous of what’s going on with the two of you and try to ruin it for everyone involved (though sometimes friends will do this out of spite). Or maybe he wants what’s best for both of us; he might be using me as an example/role model/inspiration and then telling everyone how awesome I am when I’m not around anymore!
Some people don’t want what’s best for you. Frienemies
You may be thinking, “But everyone wants to be my friend!” That’s not true. Some people don’t want what’s best for you, and they’ll try their hardest to use you for their own benefit. In fact, some people are so desperate to have friends that they’ll even tolerate your presence if it means they can get a leg up on the competition—or worse, if it means they don’t have to compete with anyone at all!
If someone seems like he or she doesn’t want anything to do with your success or happiness (or even just as a person), take note: Your instincts are probably right when it comes time for making new friends in school or work later this year.
Trust but verify.
You’re in a relationship, so you’ve probably heard the saying “Trust but verify.” But what does this mean for you?
According to the website TrustAndVerify.org, trust is an emotional response that has nothing to do with logic or reason. It can be defined as a feeling of security and confidence in someone else’s abilities or intentions toward us. On the other hand, verification means having evidence available to back up those assumptions—gaining proof through observation or experimentation that something is true (or false). In short: if someone tells me their dog died yesterday and then brings their dog over for dinner tonight—I’m going to believe them unless I have some sort of proof otherwise!
In order for these two concepts to work together successfully in our lives as humans (and especially as women), we need both aspects: trust BUT also verification!
Some people are too afraid to be alone.
Some people are too afraid to be alone. They will do anything they can to keep you around, even if it means lying and saying things that aren’t true. They might say that they care about you or want the best for you, but all they really want is for someone else to take over your life and make decisions for you. It isn’t fair, but sometimes we have no choice but to walk away from people like this because they don’t understand why we need time alone!
You deserve better than a frienemy.
You deserve better than a frienemy.
A frienemy is someone who seems like they should be your friend, but just isn’t. They’re not loyal and trustworthy, and they don’t support you in your goals. Your best bet would be to avoid them at all costs because once you get close enough for them to start talking about their goals with you—which will inevitably happen if there’s any potential for collaboration—you’ll quickly realize that this person is only interested in getting what he or she wants from life (and you), not really caring about anyone else’s success or happiness.
Your gut is a good indicator of who your true friends and frienemies are.
You are your own best friend, and you should treat yourself like one. If someone is willing to give you their time, money and attention, they’re probably a good person. However, there are also people who will take advantage of your kindness—and those people aren’t worth your friendship (or time). So what do you do?
Well, it’s easy: just listen to your gut! If a friend asks for help but doesn’t seem thankful afterward or even cares about what happened in return—run! Or better yet: don’t say yes at all if it sounds like the other person might not have enough room in their life for whatever else comes along with being friends with them. Also watch out for signs that this particular friend might be manipulative: if they always ask when the last time was when we saw each other or how often we talk lately (which could mean anything), then maybe this isn’t really an actual friendship after all…Frienemies.
We hope you’ve learned something about the importance of being your own best friend. If we can help you out, drop us a line and let us know!