“Everybody out there, don’t ever take anybody for granted, ’cause you never know when you might lose them and you may never get the chance to tell them how you really feel.”-Billie from Glitter
Hey Loves Welcome back to Joi’s Journey of Perception
Most people don’t know this about me, but Glitter is one of my all-time favorite movies. starring Terrance Howard, Da Brat, Tia, Texada, Mariah Carey (one of my top 5 favorite singers), and other well-known figures. You can find out how poorly this movie was rated by doing some research.
It was “A syrupy, over-produced power ballad of a movie,” and “Nothing redeemable could possibly have come out of Kate Lanier’s ill-fated script,” according to “Rotten Tomatoes.” However, there will be no Glitter bashing allowed here; this will not be a bash topic. I wish to explore some interesting movie points that ought to spark debate.
Therefore, Billie (Mariah Carey) experiences a separation from her mother in the film. She is removed by the government. Her mother was a big drinker and smoker, and this showed in the way she raised her children. Her mother worked long shifts, and one night while smoking a cigarette, she dozed off and set the home on fire.
A good example of a codependent person is Billie. She doesn’t exhibit symptoms that I would classify as extreme, but she does. Let’s think about how her mother wasn’t always there for her and wasn’t as present in her life. Her father also had no interest in her. The neglect started there. A person who supports another person’s addiction, poor mental health, immaturity, irresponsibility, or underachievement is said to be codependent. It’s like a craving to be desired, which makes sense given that Billie didn’t experience that with either her mother or her father because her mother had abandoned her.
“ An over-indulgence of anything, even something as pure as water, can intoxicate. ” -Criss Jami
The arguments end with Roxie and Louise getting out of the car so they can walk home with some dignity, and I recall there being a scene in the movie where she and Dice had a fight and her friends defended her. Billie was left with the choice but declined them out of fear when Louise asked if she was going with them. She didn’t depart with them for an obvious reason, but you can guess why. It was presumably out of concern for how it would impact her work and the possibility of losing a man to whom she had gotten attached.
You ever noticed those people who are in a relationship that you can see from the outside is toxic, but they’re afraid to leave because they’re scared they won’t find anyone else. Not just toxic in the sense of abuse, but how one cannot do ANYTHING without the other. Like they have no identity outside of the relationship. ( I will do a whole post on this). I think Billie was so into Dice for the simple fact that she’s never had a reliable male figure in her life. Her father wanted nothing to do with both her and her mom, so she was trying to feel that void. She was repeating the patterns that her mom went through. Also dealt with what her mom showed her as well.
There are many signs that you may be codependent. Here are just a few:
You lose your own sense of identity, interests, and desires.
You’re always giving way more to your partner than you’re getting in return.
You try to take on your partner’s pain and struggles for them.
Your partner is constantly taking advantage of your good qualities.
Your partner’s happiness becomes your top priority.
You frequently make excuses or compensate for your partner’s bad behavior.
These are only a few examples, but if you stand back and catch yourself doing this, you might want to consider why you are with that person in the first place. I’ve done this before when I was interacting with someone because I was trying to fill a gap in a poisonous scenario. I knew, in the end, I wouldn’t get the happy conclusion I sought since I was dealing with a false spirit.
We should learn to love ourselves before attempting to love someone else, in which case I say “we” as that includes myself. Billie invested a lot of herself in her connection with Dice, therefore it was heartbreaking when she lost him. The worst feeling is one of emptiness, which might start a cycle of looking for things to make up for it. Stop that from happening. Before engaging in any interaction with someone, fully heal yourself to prevent being abused and damaged.
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