When it comes to relationships, I have a lot of expectations. Some are very specific, while others stem from my experiences with other people in my life. No matter what your expectations are, they’re not always going to be met by the person you’re with or vice versa. And even if they are, there’s no guarantee that something will work out forever—or ever. Despite how perfect it seems right now!
No one person will fit your narrative.
It is easy to get caught up in the idea that everyone’s narrative will be the same. Maybe you thought your relationship was going to go one way and then it went another. Maybe you thought your partner was your soulmate, but now they seem to be more like an old friend who keeps coming around just when you need them most (but it’s okay because we can still have fun).
But no one person fits all of our relationships perfectly—and that includes ourselves! Your relationship expectations might not match up with mine or any other person’s expectations at all. There are many different ways to love someone, after all!
Friends’ expectations won’t always help you.
The friends’ expectations won’t always help you.
Also, your friends may not know what you want, or what is best for you. They might be able to tell when something is bothering you, but they might not understand why it bothers you and how to fix it. Sometimes we need other people’s perspective on our relationships. But sometimes we don’t!
A relationship is not a test.
A relationship is not a test. You can’t just take a test and expect it to be an accurate reflection of your potential in a relationship. If you’re looking for some sort of objective measure, then I’m sorry but there’s nothing out there that will give you this information.
Relationships are not games or competitions. They’re not job interviews or exams where everyone gets points based on how well they perform (for example: “You got an A+! Good job!”). A relationship isn’t even like chess because there are no winners or losers—it’s about two people who want each other’s company; it’s about two people who want each other’s support throughout life; it’s about two people who want each other’s love.*
One thing doesn’t mean the whole thing.
You are not a one-size-fits-all relationship.
You may be very disappointed in the way your partner treats you, but that doesn’t mean he or she is a bad person. In fact, if you’re lucky enough to have someone who loves and respects you deeply and wants nothing but good for you, then maybe it’s time to reevaluate what “good” looks like for them (and for yourself).
The right person is not flawless.
There is no such thing as a perfect person, so don’t expect that from your partner. If you’re looking for someone who’s going to be able to do everything right all the time. Then you’re going to be disappointed. Instead of trying to change the way another person acts or thinks about things, try being patient and willing to compromise when necessary.
Be honest about what your motives are for wanting a partner, and don’t be ashamed of those motives.
You are not a bad person for wanting to feel secure. You’re not a bad person for wanting to be able to rely on someone else. And you’re not a bad person for wanting to feel supported, either!
What’s wrong with those things? Nothing at all! They’re all good things in moderation and they don’t mean that you’re weak or needy. You just want something different than what is currently available in your life right now. And if they turn out to be more than what meets the eye.
It’s OK to admit that you want (or need) the security of being in a couple, but take steps to make sure that you don’t rely on those feelings to get out of things or situations for you to address.
It’s OK to admit that you want (or need) the security of being in a couple. But take steps to make sure that you don’t rely on those feelings to get out of things or situations for you to address. Don’t rely on your partner as a shield from difficult situations. Rather than waiting for him/her or her help and support, take ownership of your own future and seek it out yourself. If necessary, be willing to confront them directly about their expectations. And make sure they understand how this will impact your life plans.
Just because something feels romantic or true does not mean it’s the way it should be done in real life.
You might have a romantic idea of what your relationship should be like. Maybe you think it should be full of love and affection. You also believe that a partnership needs to be built on trust and respect.
But the truth is, no matter how much we want things to be different from how they are in real life. Romantic love is not the same as real love! It’s important for couples to understand what each other expects from their relationships. Because this can help them avoid unnecessary heartbreak down the line. Here are some examples of expectations couples may have:
- Romantic love can lead to unrealistic expectations about how long things last (or shouldn’t last) based on past experiences with previous partners; however, real relationships may not last forever either!
- Romantic fantasies tend not always reflect reality; however, if two people are truly committed towards one another then these fantasies will likely soon become realities because they’ll want them too!
Relationships don’t have to be one-size-fits-all. They can be about you and your needs, and that’s just as good as it gets.