Learning to say no…

…recognize what’s important to you and create boundaries without feeling guilty or rude.

Hey loves,

On this post, I will speak on a topic that I know a lot of people can relate to. So don’t be confuse by the title. This is not a 5th grade lesson on saying no to drugs. This is post more for the people pleasers, and don’t feel ashamed by that. Some of us just love seeing people happy. The problem with that, is that we forget to put ourselves happiness first sometimes. Has there ever been a time someone ask you for something and you desperately wanted to say not but didn’t because you felt obligated to say yes?

Well, here’s the thing. You are not obligated to say yes, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if its friends and family. There are people who will take advantage of you not having boundaries. And it’s usually the people who are closest to you. They usually know what buttons to push and know that you value friendships and relationships. They’ll take advantage of your kindness. Unfortunately, they need to learn that that’s not cool and they can be cut off any moment and deserve to. You do not have to say yes just because you guys of been friends for seven years. The only people who get upset with you having boundaries are the people who were benefiting from it.

Don’t say maybe if you want to say no.” – Ryan Holiday

People like us need to learn how to tell people no. And when you say no mean it. Don’t give an explanation as to why. I will have her say that you should not tell a lie when you’re telling people no. There’s a difference between setting your boundaries and telling people lies. That’s called manipulation and you can’t respect people that do that. Just say no and mean it.

Why you should say no?

It creates boundaries

You won’t resent that person or be angry

You save your energy

Your needs get met

 Saying no and setting those boundaries can create better communication between you and a person. It’s letting them know that hey, I’m not OK with that but I am OK with this. This then leads to longer lasting friendships and relationships because each partner is getting their needs met and a healthy manner. There are even times you may need to say no at work and that is OK. Letting people just walk on you and take advantage of you may be beneficial for them but it makes you very uncomfortable and upset. And there are times when you need to put yourself first for your mental health.

If you want more time, freedom, and energy, start saying no.

How to say no?

Sometimes, you don’t even need to say anything, your silence can be no. But if you want to effectively communicate just say, I refuse to do that or I don’t feel comfortable doing that. You don’t need a drawn out explanation because they are not your parents. And if they are not OK with you saying no, then they have to go. This is because they’re upset they are not getting their way and they’re sad that you setting boundaries.Sometimes you don’t even need to say no. Silence is enough.

I’ll give an example of a place in my life where I need to start saying no. So I’m that friend that friends tend to come to when they need advice. And trust me I give amazing advice because I’m thoughtful, non-judge mental, and very logical about decisions. But when I need to come to them for help or things like that they’re never there which is very upsetting and I eventually resent them for a short period of time. It’s like when I need people they’re never there but when they need me I’m always there because I refuse to say no and they tend to take a vantage for that. So I’m going to have to slowly start saying no when people come to me for advice that they sometimes don’t even take. Because it’s draining for my energy and you only get so much energy and I’m trying to keep my peas which is another reason to keep your foot down when you say nowSometimes you don’t even need to say no.

No is not a negative word, sometimes saying no can save you from life greatest pains”

A great example of someone who needs to learn to say no would be the character Arnold from Hey Arnold. Although he loves helping people like myself he needs to take time to grieve other things and deal with his own problems instead of always fixing others. Below you’ll find a video that I advise you to watch and you’ll see how much he helps people

So, I advise you all to start saying no. You don’t have to go cold turkey with helping people but learn to start saying no so you can get your inner peace. Thank you for reading another post! I look forward to seeing you on the next one. Feel free to comment below like subscribe and share this post with people who you know need to hear or read this.

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