Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.Robert Brault
Hey Loves and welcome back to Joi’s Journey of Perception,
I wanted to get a post out that means so much to me! I feel like we have all been in a situation where someone owes us an apology but, either refused to give us one or the apology was backhanded. You may be wondering what I mean by “backhanded”. Well I am here to explain Apologies and etc.
A non-apology apology, sometimes called a nonpology, backhanded apology, or fauxpology, is a statement in the form of an apology that does not express remorse. … Saying “I’m sorry you feel that way” to someone who has been offended by a statement is a non-apology apology.
How To Apologize
Many people think that they know how to apologize, but I am sorry to say, they do not! Below you will find the right way to say sorry.
- Apologize: Say I am sorry. Do not throw in the word “but”. Because we all know, that if you say “but” everything you said before that is canceled.
- Explain what you are apologizing for. Take accountability. ” I am sorry for saying that you were stupid”. Shows that you acknowledge what you did. This is showing that you have self-awareness.
- Go into detail about why you know what you did was not okay.
- Explaining what changes you will make in order for this problem not to happen again. This is where people fail in apologies. Apologizing without change is manipulation. You need to change your behavior.
- Acknowledge that what you did was wrong and that it will not happen again.
- Ask for forgiveness. Now, this is tricky. Because just cause you to apologize, doesn’t mean that that person has to forgive you.
Apologies are great, but they don’t really change anything. You know what does? Action.Stella Young
If an apology is followed by an excuse or a reason, it means they are going to commit the same mistake again they just apologized for. Amit Kalantri
Now, I have some thoughts about apologies. There are some classic cases of when apologizing is for the person giving the apology. Not receiving it. Have you ever had someone apologize to them for their benefits? Like they didn’t want to lose the relationship with you, or for the simple fact that you do things for them. I have, and I was just like you can keep the apology.
Pride and ego make a mockery of an apology. Humility wins forgiveness without question…so break ‘yo’self’!T. F. Hodge
At the end of the day, an apology is for the person giving it. To clear their guilt. Unfortunately, there are going to be times where we either have to move on without an apology, or take the terrible apology and go. I slowly have been learning to just move on without the apology because that person knew what they were doing. There are several people who still owe me apologies, so until I get one, they do not exist to me.
What do you all feel about apologies? Let me know in the comments below. Please like, comment, subscribe, and share! See you in the next post.