“If you really want closure…at some point, you have to shut the door.” -Jacki Wells Wunderlin
Ever been through a situation with someone, where things ended and you were just expected to accept it? They didn’t tell you why they disappeared, not even any signs to give you the slightest idea. Trust me, I have and it took me forever to come to terms that I was not always going to get answers.
As much as you deserve the truth from people who are misleading or playing games, it does not always happen.
In this day and age many, not just guys, are not good at communicating. Which shows a lack in their character, not yours. Those people will leave you with many unanswered questions, that could lead you to pick yourself apart, and it’s not fair.
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There was this one guy, in particular, let’s give him the name Tristan. He would show false signs and lead me on to the point where I was confused, thinking I couldn’t do better, and doubting myself. Having me think we were going to meet up or always talking about how much he wanted me. He would go ghost for months and then come back into my life like it was a revolving door. It went for two years on and off of him ghosting and coming back with lame excuses, and me being dumb, I would forgive him. I honestly don’t know why I wanted him but I feel like it had a lot to do with how I imagined my life to be with him. Sometimes Tristan wouldn’t even give me an excuse, I was making them for him and that was a no-no.
Seriously, what was I thinking made him so special to the point where I kept forgiving him. As much as I liked him and his charm, he did me so dirty and with me forgetting my worth, it made it easier for him.
I had to separate myself from this kid and put my focus on doing things I love. Me giving him attention every time he would come back was doing nothing but feeding his ego, which guys thrive on. Give your undivided attention to someone who derives it. YOU!
You are the only person that can give yourself closure. Why would you ask for closure from the person who cannot communicate in the first place? IF someone goes ghost, tell yourself “I deserve an adult who knows how to communicate” and keep it pushing. Separate yourself from someone who clearly has some growing to do. You may not get the answers you want but tell yourself it wasn’t worth it so you can progress.