“EVEN A GOOD PLAYER WILL SOMEDAY BECOME A TOY OF A BETTER PLAYER. ITS CALLED KARMA”
Hey, Guys What’s up!
By that title you would think that I’m some sort of genius when it comes to players. I’m not, however I have dodged a lot of bullets heartbreak-free. Why? Because I learned the game and flipped the script. Let’s all be serious ladies…a lot of us tend to fall for players due to their looks and their confidence.
There are signs to tell that the guy you want is a player. Before you even think about entertaining this guy that has caught your interest, take a second to think. Once you learn the signs, things will become a bit easier for you. What I tend to do when I find myself liking someone, is to shut my feelings off completely until we both establish and agree on what we want out of this.
I’m going to be your friend/older sister and give you a few signs that he may be a player. These signs will let you know if his intentions are bad or good.
Sign #1: They are always lying or have excuses
Now don’t get me wrong, everyone lies, but if you find that person lying about the dumbest things, it means that they have something that they are trying to hide. This also means that they don’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. If they’re telling you that they are going to treat you like a queen and they do the opposite. He’s all talk and on some games and lets face it, you’re not Milton Bradley, this is not a game, let’s keep it real with each other and ourselves. When it comes to the excuses, I need you not to fall for them because that’s where they get you. I know this because yes I have been played but once I learned the game, I beat the guys to the punch. Sometimes people aren’t even giving excuses and you’re giving them for them and that needs to stop. Right here. Right now. Next.
Sign #2: Their actions don’t match their words
Everyone should know not to believe what someone says if their actions don’t match their words. Don’t get me wrong, I am super straight forward and believe that your word is your bond. But not many people are like me and you really have to look at their actions to see if they are being real with you. A player can whisper so many sweet sayings in your ear that sound enticing, but if he’s not acting on them, why would you think he’s good for you? Would you believe someone just telling you that they are a doctor? No! You would want the proof and receipts backing that up. You should want the same for when it comes to protecting your heart. Oh, you want my time and not to waste? Bet show me!
Sign #3: Conversations always have to do with sex
Now, this is a big one. and doesn’t need an explanation. If the only conversation that excites him has anything to do with sex, rather it be “send me nudes” or “what are you wearing”, come on you know what I’m talking about. CUT HIM OFF. Why? Because that’s all he wants. If that is all you want, go for it, but don’t catch feeling because you knew what you signed up for. If that is not what you want, he literally is placing the ball in your court, so keep it moving. Wash your hands of this person.
Sign #4: He says his ex is “psycho” or “crazy
Now come on man, I get it. Crazy people do exist, but from my experience anytime a guy says this, he is not telling you the entire truth. You have to be real with yourself. She probably came off crazy because she caught him doing something and reacted or he’s saying that to get you to feel sorry for him. The pity game is a big one. Again! Bringing in those feelings. Don’t fall for it. Their ex is not crazy or psycho, they’re human. And that person probably did something to make them question everything and lose respect, leading them to do things that come off crazy.
Sign #5: His Post Patterns
I get that people can change, how ever men are creatures of habit and unless they have a chat with themselves on changing, they are that same person. I get that we shouldn’t judge, but I think there a loop holes. If you are deciding who to put your trust in, you need to check their past and see if it is somewhat clean. I say somewhat because nobody is perfect. If you see that person has a history of cheating or hurting people, what makes you think that they will not violate your trust? This is why you should proceed with caution. Your past does influence a lot of your decisions in the present and it will in the future, however I do believe that people can change. If you two have a history and you’re thinking about giving them a second chance. Don’t! Shouldn’t you think twice about the whole reason you’re giving them a second chance? A leopard doesn’t change its spots. Let’s be realist as well, it is very…very rare you will get a second chance with anything in life.
Sign #6: He likes to rush things
First of all, rushing things is a sign of immaturity. Good things take time. The person rushing things shows they’re on a mission… and that mission is to hurt you. Also if you are trying to wait for sex, the person may try to rush into a relationship in order to get sex and while that’s their goal you may feel that they truly like you. Be careful of whoever you have sex with. Not only because there are dangers of pregnancy and STI’s. But there is also risk of catching feelings for someone you never intended to catch feelings for. There is a hormone called Oxytocin that is released during intimate gestures and sex. Also, energies are exchanged and can influence your behavior in life. This is why people get hooked to players. Players know this and use it to their advantage. There are so many negative things that can come into play that will show you the relationship was rushed but that’s a different story..
If he is trying to meet the family and friends asap. He’s rushing things. If he is telling you he loves you early, He’s rushing things. If he’s complementing you or telling you he thinks about you all the time (mind games), Sis he’s rushing things. All these things add up to them being a player. Be careful.
Once you have gone through those signs (trust me there is more) and determined if the person shows you an ounce of a red flag, you can move on to the next step which is taking steps to prevent the heartbreak or just end things at the sign or a red flag. These rules are for only if you choose to continue entertaining that person who you know is bad for you although you know it won’t end well. Cut him off if you really do not want your heart-broken. Don’t worry sis we all love a drama moment and players give you just that.
I’ve dealt with a lot of well-known players who thought I didn’t know their past. Not that you can’t change but hey, don’t you check the car facts? In those experiences I learned that most of them had the same approach and I couldn’t help but laugh because they though I was dumb and didn’t know the game. But the gag is, I took notes.
Rule #1: Ladies or men (if you’re dealing with a lady player) Don’t put all your eggs in one basket
The first thing you should do is remind yourself not to put your eggs all in one basket. You need to guard your heart. Make sure you are multi-dating because if he is a known player, you are bound to get hurt. No player changes his way for someone, they have to want to change for themselves. Until you are officially cuffed (meaning you are in a relationship with a label), you are technically not off the market.
As soon as you start getting the idea of focusing on one guy, they switch it up. They let it go to their head, get comfortable, and start treating you any kind of way. Here’s a secret, you need to leave guys on their toes when you’re not taken. Keep them curious because that is their weakness. You must continue playing the field until you both establish what it is. Not only are you keeping your options open but you are going to make them work for your attention, even hurting their ego sometimes.
Rule #2: Don’t Share too much
In my experience, most guys for some reason felt comfortable sharing their life stories with me, and not that I’m a bad person but I saw no point. If there were no relationship coming out of it then why feel the need to tell me? That’s how feelings get involved. Save the pillow talk for someone who deserves it. Don’t be vulnerable with a player!
Rule #3: Be busy
I’m not saying pretend to be busy, but actually, be busy. If a player finds out that you wait by the phone for them or that you are courtesy with your time, they will take advantage of that and think “Oh I can hit them up whenever I want because they’re desperate for me”. Focus on a hobby or go do something. Be fun. When a player sees you being fun, they will do everything in the power to try to be a part of that fun.
Rule #4: Remember to not spend too much time with him.
Quality time is something people in serious relationships do. The more time you spend with someone to more you are bound to fall for them. Keep the time you spend with them to a minimum. Get in and get out. Let’s be serious, Do not participate in activities with a player that you would see s couple participating in.
Remember to guard your heart in all things. Players can be entertaining but they are tainted and can mess you up mentally. As cliché as it sounds, not everyone should have a key to your heart. Pain really changes you and can influence your future. Be careful, a player is your heart’s kryptonite. Please comment your thoughts below and share this with a friend!
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