When you first meet someone, you know right away whether or not they’re a good fit. Your gut says, “Wow, she’s great!” Then, after getting to know each other and spending time together, you start to see that there are things about this person that don’t quite work out—no matter how much they claim otherwise. But sometimes it can feel like there might be something wrong with you if someone outgrows your friendship or relationship. You start thinking: “How did I ever think this would work?”
You’re moving in different directions
If you look at your life, and compare it to the person you were when they were in your life, there should be a pretty clear difference. Their interests may have changed or matured over time, their values may have shifted slightly. They might even have different expectations for what life should look like for you now!
The best way to know if someone outgrew you is by checking out how much more free time they have on their hands: when was the last time they went out? Did they take a vacation? Did they even leave their house? Are those people who hang around all day at work ever going anywhere (or do they just have no intention of doing anything)? Do all these people seem busy but not productive at all—or do they actually seem happy with what’s going on in their lives right now?
They have toxic habits
If your partner is not supportive of your growth, they will try to keep you in a place where it’s comfortable for them. This could mean restricting your ability to make decisions by telling you what kind of career path would be best for the two of you. It could also mean restricting your ability to make decisions about how much time and energy goes into certain things (like hobbies), or even withholding information altogether so that it seems like there are no options at all.
If this sounds familiar, then it’s time for some serious introspection—and maybe even some therapy sessions!
They’re not supportive of your growth
If you’re growing, but your parents aren’t there to support it, then they are probably holding you back. They may not encourage you to try new things or learn new skills—or at all! If they don’t want to see their child grow up and become an adult, then why should they support that?
However, if your parents have been supportive of your growth so far (and this includes having let go of some old habits and thinking patterns), then the next step is letting go of the idea that there’s only one way for people to live their lives. You can still be yourself but also be a better version of yourself too!
You don’t like who you are around them
You don’t like who you are around them. You feel like you’re not being your best self, and that doesn’t feel right. In fact, it feels like you’re not improving yourself at all.
You may also feel stuck in a rut with this person—they don’t inspire growth or change in any way (except maybe to make things worse).
You feel empty around them
If you feel like you’re not being yourself around someone, it’s time to move on. If they’re always asking questions about your life and family, ask them if they’re interested in hearing the story of how your parents met. If they ask what kind of work you do at the office every day, tell them that it’s nothing special—just a job where I sit all day and read emails while drinking coffee.
If there are other people around who have more experience than their partner (but still less than yours!), then maybe this person isn’t ready for marriage yet! Maybe he needs some coaching from his friends on how best not to be a douchebag when dating someone new — like maybe by just not texting her back until three days after their second date? Or better yet: don’t date at all…
You feel they are holding you back from your potential
It’s a tricky situation. You feel like they are holding you back from your potential, and it’s hard to tell if that’s true or not. You could be just experiencing growth in the way of learning new things and being challenged by life, but if they don’t share those same interests with y
ou then it might make sense for them to stay by your side (and vice versa).
If someone is constantly telling me what I should do next (even when I ask questions), then that person is probably too close-minded for me at this point in my life.
It’s OK to outgrow people; it happens.
It’s OK to outgrow people.
Yes, it happens to everyone. We all have people in our lives who we want to be better than, and sometimes this means growing up and moving on from them. But it’s not a bad thing at all! Outgrowing someone doesn’t mean that you’re better or worse than them—it just means that your relationship with them has changed over time, which is totally normal! So don’t worry about feeling bad about growing apart from someone; it’s not something worth dwelling on for too long because there are plenty more awesome people out there waiting for us (and vice versa).
You know who you are and where you want to be. You’re not happy in the relationship, but it’s not about them—it’s about your growth. If someone is holding you back from achieving it, then they’re toxic. And if they don’t have a supportive attitude towards your growth, then that relationship needs to end.