MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!
I hope no one is dealing with Forbidden love.
It’s a big decision to make when you break up with someone. You need to decide if it’s time to end the relationship or just take a break from each other. Maybe it’s just that one thing that is making you feel like giving up on this person. But there may be other factors at play here, too. Maybe you’re afraid of being alone again. Or maybe you know deep down inside that this person is not right for you but your heart keeps getting involved anyway. This is a Forbidden love.
If so, then let me ask you this: what do you do when your heart doesn’t listen to reason? Do something about it! Start by looking at why letting go might be hard for you right now and then work towards an outcome where both parties are happy going forward.”
Know the reasons for letting go.
Knowing the reasons for letting go is important because it helps you to understand your feelings. Maybe you feel worried or scared when this person is around, or maybe all of a sudden they seem like they don’t care about you anymore.
Maybe they’ve been showing signs that they aren’t good for you (like cheating on their partner), but still, the thought of letting them go makes you feel like your heart might break into two pieces!
Sometimes, knowing what exactly it is that’s making us feel uncomfortable can help us to deal with those emotions in a more healthy way instead of running away from them.
Once we get clear on what’s going on inside our minds and bodies then we can start making decisions that are healthier for ourselves and our relationships with others
Be aware of your expectations.
When you’re in a relationship, expectations are the norm. You want the other person to behave in certain ways and be there for you when you need them. The problem is that sometimes expectations can lead to frustration, disappointment, self-blame, and resentment. This is because they’re usually based on your idea of how things should be rather than how they actually are.
When we expect someone else – especially our partners – to do things for us or behave in certain ways that we don’t even consider their needs or feelings, it’s no wonder so many people end up feeling frustrated and resentful when those expectations aren’t met.
For example: I once knew someone who had been single all his life until he met someone at work who was interested in him (which was rare). He spent months waiting for her text messages on weekends so that they could make plans together; then one day she just stopped texting altogether after saying “I’m sorry” multiple times over two days without giving any reason why she had stopped contacting him first time round other than admitting that she’d felt overwhelmed by his persistence during off-hours calls between work colleagues which made her feel pressured into telling him about her feelings towards him despite not wanting anything serious at this point – not even friendship!
Recognize how you value yourself.
In order to really have this conversation with yourself, you have to be honest with what is important to you. For example:
- What do you value in life? Do you value family and friends, or just having fun? Are there some specific people that are more important than others? How would your day go without them in it?
- What are your goals and aspirations for the future (and what does “future” mean for you)? Do those goals align with who you want to be as a person and how others view themselves when they think of you?
- If someone treated YOU badly at work or school or even just around town on an average day… how would YOU react? What would YOU say if someone else were treating THEIRSELF like that too. How do YOU treat yourself—do not ignore this question! It’s so easy for us all to slip into self-deprecating habits but we need to stop doing that if we want better relationships with ourselves AND other people. When was the last time someone told themself they were beautiful/smart/funny/etcetera–I bet it wasn’t recently!
Determine your role in this relationship.
Okay, so you’ve identified that this person is bad for you. Now it’s time to figure out what role they play in your life. Is he/she your friend? Or is he/she more like an acquaintance? Do they know about the things that are going on in your life and offer helpful advice or do they just seem to be around when they need something from you?
It’s important to consider how much of a presence this person has on a daily basis when deciding if it’s worth letting go of them completely or not. If the answer is “not much at all,” then there’s no reason why getting rid of all reminders of them (like pictures or gifts) would make any difference in the long run. On the other hand, if getting rid of those reminders would definitely help with moving forward then I say go for it!
Identify what you are getting out of it.
- Identify what you are getting out of it. What is the other person getting out of it? How does this relationship work for you, and how does this relationship work for them?
- Ask yourself: What do I think will happen in the future?
Consider his/her role in your life.
As you’re going through this exercise, take some time to consider things from the other person’s point of view.
What do they get out of the relationship? Do they feel like they’re good for you? Are they happy with their role in your life? What do they want from the relationship and how did that impact their behavior toward you?
Seek counseling for the relationship, if you want to keep it going.
- Seek counseling for the relationship, if you want to keep it going.
- You’re not a masochist and neither is your partner—so why would you be willing to put yourself through this? If there’s no real reason other than some romantic notion of “love conquers all,” then ask yourself what you stand to gain from continuing with such an unhealthy dynamic.
- Be careful: seeking professional help doesn’t mean throwing up your hands and handing over control of your life or fate. It simply means taking responsibility for making good choices that align with your values and goals in life.
Get rid of all reminders, if you want to let go of the relationship.
This one is a no-brainer, but it’s important nonetheless. If you want to let go of the relationship, get rid of all the reminders that your ex exists. This includes any pictures or gifts they gave you. Also, don’t keep any letters or notes from your ex. It can be tempting to keep something small like this as a reminder of how nice things were when you were together, but it may end up only making it more difficult for you to move on if you do so.
Don’t even think about keeping a video or photo album with photos from when the two of you were dating—even if they’re just selfies taken together! The more things that remind us of our past relationships (and how happy we once were), the harder it becomes for us to move on and find someone else who makes us happy again.
Keep a journal of your feelings.
Keeping a journal of your feelings is good for your mental health and can help you see things more clearly. It also helps if you’re trying to figure out what (if anything) is wrong with the relationship.
Write down how you feel, why you feel that way, what you want to do about it, and anything else related to the situation.
For example: “I feel angry because my boyfriend always cancels our plans at the last minute when I know he could have done something different with his friends instead of leaving me hanging around all alone with nothing to do. I want him to schedule some time in advance so we don’t get stood up again next week! What am I going to do about this? Maybe I should confront him about it? Or maybe there’s another way… Journal about you Forbidden love.
Reach out to your support system when you feel depressed, lonely or sad about the breakup or break-up that didn’t happen.
Talk to them about your Forbidden love
- If you’re feeling depressed or lonely, reach out to your support system. Friends and family can help you through those difficult times.
- You might also benefit from professional help. Reach out to a therapist or other mental health professional if you are having trouble coping with the breakup or break-up that didn’t happen. They can help you figure out what’s going on inside of you. So that when another opportunity comes along down the road, it won’t slip away again!
- Join a support group where people share their experiences of trying to start a new relationship after one has ended badly. In hopes that they’ll find answers as well as comfort in knowing they aren’t alone in this struggle.”
If you can’t let go, start by making yourself aware of all the things that are going on here.
If you can’t let go, start by making yourself aware of all the things that are going on here.
What if it’s not just one or two reasons? What if it’s all five? And what if each reason has a few sub-reasons? And what if those sub-reasons have their own little sub-sub-reasons too? And so on, down the rabbit hole until your brain feels like it’s going to explode…
You might be thinking, “Okay but I’m pretty sure that there’s just one thing causing me to stay stuck. Like maybe it’s because I’m afraid of losing my friend or something like that. That would explain everything! Right?!” Well… no and yes: there are probably many psychological factors at play here (but also maybe not), so don’t feel bad when trying to figure out why you’re stuck feels overwhelming!
Well, that’s about all I have to say about that. But if you feel like you can’t let go, then just keep reading and thinking about what I’ve said here. Hopefully, it will help!
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