“SOMETIMES THE BEST THING YOU CAN DO IS NOT THINK, NOT WONDER, NOT IMAGINE, NOT OBSESS. JUST BREATHE, AND HAVE FAITH THAT EVERYTHING WILL WORK OUT FOR THE BEST.”
Being able to embrace all the bullets I dodged and recognize that they were blessings in disguise, is considered a blessing to me. I look back at all the “losses” that I have had and honestly, they really weren’t losses. There were people I was willing to give my all to and who I have gave my all to and I would wonder why things didn’t work out.
There a point in my life where I wasn’t willing to accept what was being shown directly to my face and I ended up getting hurt and later in my life. I realize those were bullets that I dodged. I was and kind of still am the type of person who focuses on the good in people instead of their character as a whole.
In particular, there was this one guy who I was really interested in for what reason I don’t know. Maybe it was just the chase but that’s another story. He’s a really good guy and I can honestly see peoples’ futures, like I don’t know if you can understand what I mean, but I saw that he had potential. Cause we all love a person with potential. A project you can say. He just was not living up to it. I guess you can say we’re friends now, but then again no. To be honest just knowing him better, I don’t think we would have lasted just based off his behavior and thought process which is kind of immature.
Once I stopped investing in him, which investing in someone isn’t always money, it could be time and energy. I started seeing his true colors and not the perfect portrait of him that I painted. I saw his flaws for what they were and I’m not saying that he is this horrible person, however, he has a lot of growing up to do, both mentally and emotionally. He doesn’t know what he wants which isn’t good in a relationship. He’s the type of person to go ghost when he doesn’t know how to react to something, then return when the water has settle.
I would constantly beat myself up because of failure. Failure in the sense of not completing this certain thing with this certain someone. Instead of knowing that what is meant for me is for me. I’m the type of person that when I start something, I want to complete it. And not being able to complete a lot of things irritated me. Now that I look back I’m just thinking oh I dodged a bullet because he wasn’t on the level I was and I’m not saying I’m like on this pedestal. I’m just saying that I’m going down a different path than him and he just couldn’t come along and I can’t come along with him because we both need to find ourselves before we even think about entertaining each other
Obviously, I still care about the kid. But I felt like his therapist. He was just take, take ,take, but what was a getting? He headache. Tired of the ghosting. The bare minimum. Do I talk to him as of today? NO. I need a break and I’m putting that energy towards myself. Will we talk in the future? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m at the age where once I cut you out of my life, I don’t feel the need to let you back in, but we will see.
A lot of the people I’ve been involved with were bad judgment on my part and interacting with them has taught me so much and help me grow as a person I know what I will accept and what I won’t accept, especially when it comes to disrespect because I’ve been disrespected in so many ways. And that the things not working out with them was a blessing in disguise. It’s not that we can’t be cool now it’s just I know that at some point they will not be involved in my life if that makes sense. I don’t want to partake in anything involving them. I thank them for helping me grown, but that’s the end of their scene in my life.
A lot of the people that I was involved with in the past, now that I think about it, they had a lot of insecurities and a lot of things going bad in their lives. Me being the type of person I am, I was sort of like their therapist. Which sucks for me because it was draining and they took everything for me. I was like their emotional diaries, like they could just come to me with all the little problems and I would be there to listen. I just trying to be the person that I would want them to be for me. That doesn’t always happen. These guys and their insecurities wouldn’t have done well in a relationship. Thank God I dodged that bullet because I see a lot of the relationships now and get the saying, “what glitters isn’t always gold”.
IF YOU HAVEN’T CHECKED OUT ANY OF MY OTHER CONTENT, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? BE SURE TO CHECK OUT SOME OF MY OTHER WORK. LIKE, COMMENT, AND SHARE WITH A FRIEND OR SOMEONE YOU FEEL NEEDS TO READ THIS.
Lessons from childhood stories: Peter Pan the ultimate Douche, Expectations based on gender in Bridge to Terabithia ……
How to Protect your Heart from a Player
