2nd Chances? Should you give them?

Everybody deserves second chances, but not for the same mistakes.

What’s up guys! Welcome back!

I had a moment where I was honestly at a blank. I didn’t know what to say or how to express my thoughts. So I had to take a break and think about what and how I wanted to express my thoughts. I talk about things I myself go through. But not usually while it’s going on. Lately, I’ve been having people of my past pop back into my life. People who have hurt me. Although, I forgave them long before getting the apology, there were still those emotions that came back. You’re probably wondering where I am going with this. Well, I was having a phone conversation with a long time friend and we got on the discussion of 2nd chances. She asked if I was going to give those people second chances.

What are 2nd chances?

Definition of second chance : an opportunity to try something again after failing one time I could have fired him, but I gave him a second chance.

• 

Usually, people ask for a second chance, when they need to prove that what they first did was out of their character or didn’t show their potential.

Here comes the question of whether people deserve second chances. I have always said that I’m on the fence. Let me explain. Say that it is something small like an audition or tryout, nerves probably could have gotten in the way the first time. I think a person deserves to prove that they have what it takes. Here is where I feel like someone does not deserve a second chance.

Say that you laid out your boundaries and they listen, but still chose to ignore them. I could forgive that person, but I will not give them a second chance. Their decision chose the consequences. It was on them.

Sometimes two people have to fall apart just to realize how much they need to fall back together.

Then again, there are those moments when someones maturity could influence the behavior. For example, men don’t mature as fast as women. They may have the best woman in their presence and take her for granted because he’s not at that place in his life. Now I’m not saying that the woman should take that as an excuse and stick around while he mistreats her, but he will realize, most likely when it’s too late. Then it is up to that woman, of whether she decides to give him a second chance.

There are times where it’s too far gone for someone to get a second chance. There have been times where I’ve given people I called friends multiple chances and they took that as a message of I was always going to be there. I’m that ride or die friend, however, I know when that is being taken for granted. I don’t give adults ultimatums. Either we respect each others needs or we don’t need to be in each others lives.

Dont’ get me wrong, we’ve all made mistakes, but let’s be clear of what a mistake is.

mis·take

/məˈstāk/

noun

• 1.an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong:

This means that that character or behavior was unintentional. If you keep repeating that behavior, it is not longer a mistake, it’s a choice. And don’t get me started on people who “make mistakes” repeatedly and throw “I’m sorry” on it like it will fix everything. I’ve had a guy do that and now that I look back, his actions showed that he was doing it intentionally and not going to change.

If he were to come back into my life at this moment, would I give him a second chance? Not at all. We can be acquaintances but I’m keeping him at arms lengths. Yes he may have grown and matured, but how he treated me was what taught me that him being in my life doesn’t serve me.

A second chance doesn’t mean anything if you haven’t learned from your first MISTAKE.

Everyone deserves second chances, just as long as they actually show they are trying to change. We’ve all been given second chances. I know I have forsake but, when I asked that person for forgiveness, it was because I knew I was not the person who I was when I did wrong the first time. Just be sure you mean it when you apologize and ask for a second chance. Asking for forgiveness is not always because you’re trying to fix something, it’s because you want a new beginning.

What do you guys think? Should people be given second chances?

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