PRIORITIES BECOME DIFFERENT DEPENDING ON THE STAGES YOU’RE IN IN LIFE.”
Welcome back to Joi’s Journey of Perception.
Hey, lovelies, I know we’ve been talking about improving your life and doing some relationship spring cleaning. So I decided to write about why you should prioritize time with your friends. This will not just be a post on why, but also about how we should prioritize time with our friends. Because I believe that many people are unaware that friendships are similar to plants, and that if they are not watered, they will wither. Alternatively, if one person is watering it more than the other, it will annoy them.
Below is a chart that I made, personally of how I feel relationships should be prioritized in your life. Yours may be a bit different based on your life experiences.
Choosing someone to be your friend requires discernment.
Now, everyone knows that this symbol means balance and harmony. So, let’s look at it when it comes to this topic. There has to be a balance in the choice of friends that you choose. One side represents receptiveness and the other side represents discernment. Choosing someone to be your friend requires discernment. Not everyone can have that label. There have been a lot of people in my life that question why I say that the words love, friend, and loyalty are serious words to me. Because I don’t use those words with everyone.
For me, the most important thing is to have a close relationship with God! Then there’s my relationship with myself. Then there are any immediate family members with whom I consider myself close, followed by my close friends, extended relatives, and finally my coworkers. I’ve been putting every single connection above myself lately, and I’ve been paying the price for it. I had no idea that in order to be a good person in other relationships, I needed to be amazing on my own.
A friend who understands your tears is much more valuable than a lot of friends who only know your smile.
I’ve been letting go of friends recently, or at least individuals I thought were my friends since I feel like I was putting more effort into the relationship than they were. And, don’t get me wrong, I valued the friendship; nevertheless, it seemed like I was being drained, and I understand that there are times in life when you must let go of people in order to advance. Not everyone is capable of moving on to the next stage of their lives.
What I am doing?
With the spring cleaning of my friendships, I’m keeping two things in mind. One is to purge all dying friendships to prepare for new ones. This means those friendships that I was keeping alive or ones I felt weren’t serving me anymore, I have to let them die. The second thing that I would be keeping in mind, is to be open to making new friends. Now I know that they say that it’s very hard to make friends once you reach the age of let’s just say 23 or higher. But that’s because people are not willing to make friends or they are not making the effort.
We’re not close anymore, but I’ll be here if you need me.
I’m working on friendships that do not for now. And relationships that do not burn out. From now on I want all of my friendships to be strong. So strong that one argument will not make it bad. It is best if you guys keep a list of things you need from a friendship as well. I have a list of things I require from a friend.
One: I require honesty and communication. Honesty is very important in friendships and in a relationship.
Two: accountability. No problem can be solved if people are not taking accountability for the actions that caused something to die out. Once you’re living the truth of what the issue may be, the solution can come to the light as well.
Three: realizing that as I change, sometimes I will outgrow relationships/friendships. And that is OK! Because like I said not everyone can come into the next chapter of your life with you. There is no beef, we aren’t enemies, we just can’t be friends anymore.
Four: Quality versus quantity. I rather have times with friends that were the best time I’ve ever had in my life. Then to have times with someone all the time that physically, mentally, and emotionally drained me. As long as we’re having quality experiences together, I don’t mind not hanging out or talking every day.
Five: listening to understand and not respond. When I was a child I would always question why my mom would be like do you hear me? And I would be like yes I’m listening. But she really meant do you comprehend what I’m saying. And I feel like a lot of people do not understand the difference between the two. When you’re listening to someone don’t just listen and wait for them to be done so you can respond. You should be listening to understand where they come from which requires empathy.
Lastly: I want to be the friend that I would want for myself. I need to make sure all my stuff is intact so that I can be the best friend or girlfriend or wife that someone would want. I feel like you get what you put out. So if I am the best person that I can be hopefully I get that in return.
True friendship isn’t about only being there when it’s convent, it’s about being there when it’s not.
Thank you for checking out this post! Be sure to check out my other post, like, subscribe, and share my loves! Until I post again!