regretful black woman crying on floor

Why Insecure People are Not Good Friends

“Regardless of how you feel inside, always try to look like a winner. Even if you are behind, a sustained look of control and confidence can give you a mental edge that results in victory.” — Diane Arbus


Hello everyone and welcome back to Joi’s Journey of Perception, your one-stop online resource! You might become more mindful of who you choose to call your friends after reading today’s topic. Don’t doubt your pals without solid justification because this is merely based on my experiences. Have you ever had a friend that reflected back to you their own feelings? Projecting something onto you is what I mean. I already wrote a post about this, to which I’ll include a link below.

“Confidence is not, ‘They’ll like me.’ Confidence is, ‘I’ll be fine if they don’t.'” — Christina Grimmie

Here’s the Thing

The frightening aspect of having uncertain pals is as follows. Any measure necessary to improve their self-esteem will be taken them. We refer to this as projection. They require that boost in order to avoid putting in the effort necessary to build confidence. Additionally, everything is a competition with these friends. So you two are leaving. To boost their egos, they will inquire about your outfit, make you feel self-conscious about it, and then attempt to outdo you in terms of appearance. And I’m only addressing friendship right now. When you date someone who is really insecure, it gets worse. I could tell you a ton of tales about that occasion.


However, I was friends with the three girls in college. They enjoy hanging out while we are relaxing and having a ladies’ night or when we are completing our assignments together. But whenever there was a gathering or a party, they would purposefully decline to invite me along. Even though they always went without me, they would smile if they spotted me there. And I was always curious as to why.

Then, once, a female accidentally revealed it and stated, “We didn’t want you getting all the attention.” I was really perplexed because I wanted to go out and have fun with people I believed to be my friends, but it turned out they saw me as a rival. Even our preferences for guys were different.

“Believe in your infinite potential. Your only limitations are those you set upon yourself.” — Roy T. Bennett

Different girl same vibe

I also had this other friend that I met at work. When I say you go to work to just work and not make friends, I understand 100% now. But I digress. So I’m thinking we’re all good we’re cool we would hang out outside of working out to eat at the bar all of that fun stuff. But it was just the way she would look at me when she thought I wasn’t looking. And she also had a relative give me a compliment just based on my social media.

desserts on pink ceramic plate
Photo by Sunsetoned on

But she was crazy when she told me that relative thought I was attractive. I couldn’t figure out why she always complimented me in return. It breaks my heart to realize that not everyone has the best of intentions. She belongs to the group. She never encouraged me in my aspirations, objectives, or anything else when I felt like she should be the first one there.

Misery Loves Company

You’ve probably heard the proverb “misery loves company.” They want you to feel exactly the same way they do when they’re feeling uneasy about something. Give a hint as to why they keep supporting you and complimenting or picking on you. They want your troubles to also become their concerns. Don’t misunderstand me; we all have insecurities. But how you approach it matters. A round of applause for you if you’re working on increasing confidence in that area. However, you are a horrible person if you are putting down other people because you feel so unworthy.

regretful black woman crying on floor
Photo by Alex Green on

What do you guys think? I genuinely want to know if you think that insecure people make great friends? Let me know in the comments below! Also do not forget to like, comment, share, and subscribe. I will see you in the next post!

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