“Public self is a conditioned construct of the inner psychological self.”

Hey Loves and Welcome Back to Joi’s Journey of Perception. I was doing a lot of reflection since I am dating and let me tell you, my experience is rough.

My college curriculum included a class on children’s literature. It was at this time that I majored in education. We often talked about the traumas that we experienced as children and how they affect our adult lives. Essentially, the point was that when we have gathered the necessary tools from our parents, we eventually leave the nest.

What does this have to do with me? You may wonder. Romantic relationships are often characterized by this dynamic. Let me elaborate. I want you to imagine. You meet a guy who is great. Everyone has problems at one point or another. You know deep down that this guy has suffered a lot of trauma and that he hasn’t put any effort into healing himself. You, being very emphatic, want to help him “get better”. He starts believing in himself and thinking he can do better after you put all this effort in reminding him of his potential. But what happened was he started believing? He leaves you behind and takes up with someone else, to whom he can give his new behavior and look. You’re left alone broken and confused.

“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”

What does this mean?

Now you may be asking what does this has to do with a romantic relationship. Well, let me tell you. How do you help a person improve after they’ve been feeling low and trying to find their way in life? When do you help a person recover from his wounds or find his direction in life after he’s down on himself? What does he do after he’s healed? Leaves so he can go to another girl and share the world with her. The whole process was done by you while he took what you could give him. What did he do for you? All he did was take and he gave you trauma while making you feel like a burden.

The Oedipus Complex

Video Below

Check out Teal’s take on this concept.

After watching that video you may be thinking: Does my partner share any of the same characteristics and traits as my parents? In addition, I am observing many more negative traits than positive ones. Having grown up with a traumatic childhood, I have to build up new partners for each new one I have. I’m always trying to help people and put someone before me. Did I do that as a child? Yes! And there’s a pattern that until I break will continue to be in each partner that I come across. Which sucks.

“The more perfect a person is on the outside, the more demons they have on the inside.”

Iwan to know what you think. Let me know in the comments below! Have you heard about this complex? Let me know if you guys want me to go deeper into this topic.