The art of not comparing yourself to others

Introduction to comparing

Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s a waste of time and energy, not to mention it can make you feel bad about yourself. Instead, focus on what makes you happy!

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Acknowledge what you are feeling.

When you compare yourself to others, it is possible that your feelings of self-doubt may lead you to engage in negative actions. For example, if you think “I’m not good enough” and then decide not to pursue a certain opportunity or challenge because of that thought, then this action will cause more harm than good in the long run.

Acknowledge what you are feeling by identifying the emotion associated with your comparison: envy, jealousy, anger. These are all natural emotions and don’t need to be avoided or suppressed; instead they should be acknowledged as such so that we can learn from them instead of suppressing them and keeping ourselves stuck in an unhealthy cycle of negativity.

Respect your time.

Time is your most precious resource. You only have so much of it, and once it’s gone, it’s gone forever. In order to make the most out of your time here on Earth, you need to respect it and value it as much as possible.

Let me put it this way: If you were given $100 million dollars in cash today—no strings attached—wouldn’t you spend at least some of that money on things that would improve your life? Of course! But how often do we waste our time? We spend hours each day watching TV when we could be working out instead; we stay up late scrolling through Instagram instead of sleeping; or perhaps worst of all…we compare ourselves to other people online when we should really just be enjoying ourselves.

Stop making it a competition.

The second thing to remember is that the only competition you should be concerned with is the one between you and yourself. In other words, don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. You’re on your own road with your own unique challenges and possibilities. Your path may resemble someone else’s, but they’re not in yours, so what they do or don’t do doesn’t really matter in the end anyway.

In short: stop making it a competition! It’s pointless to think about what others have done or are doing because you’ll never know all of their circumstances or motivations for making choices along their own paths—not to mention that everyone has different abilities, which makes comparison even harder (and less interesting) than it already was.

Concentrate on the things that make you happy.

If you’re feeling insecure, it’s easy to get caught up in what other people are doing and buying. Why do they have the perfect job? How’d they get that awesome apartment? Why did she get promoted before me? When will I be able to afford a vacation like theirs?

If you think about it, there are three reasons why comparing ourselves to others is so damaging:

  • It wastes your time and energy. Comparing yourself to others takes up mental energy that could be used for more productive things like working towards a goal or learning something new.
  • It makes you feel bad about yourself. When we compare ourselves with other people, we often end up feeling bad about our accomplishments or failures because those of others seem better than ours—even if they aren’t!
  • It prevents us from enjoying our lives or seeing what’s right in front of us (and also probably not too fun). You’re going out tonight? Great! Have fun! That new pair of shoes looks great on them! Yay! If only they didn’t cost $500…

Focus on yourself and your goals.

  • Be true to yourself.
  • Be positive.
  • Be grateful for what you have, and remember that you are enough.
  • Focus on your own goals, not those set by others around you.

Understand that everyone is different.

If you’re going to be a writer, just remember: everyone has their own journey. Everyone has their own goals. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses. Everyone faces different challenges in life, and everyone is given unique opportunities to take advantage of or squander. So if someone else’s story doesn’t look like yours, that doesn’t mean they’re doing it wrong—it just means they’re doing something different than you are!

You don’t have to compare yourself to anyone else—there is no need for comparison when it comes down the basics of life itself; we all have our own lives, after all!

Choose to be happy in what you have, who you are and where you are going instead of comparing yourself to others.

You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. It’s hard to remember that sometimes. When I was in my twenties, I would constantly compare myself to other people: who had a more successful career or more money or better relationships. The temptation was always there to spend hours comparing my insides with someone else’s outsides. But while that may seem like a good idea in theory (we all have parts of ourselves we want to improve), it’s actually an ineffective way of thinking because it prevents us from moving forward and makes us feel awful about ourselves in the process!

We are all on our own journeys, so why compare? If you find yourself wondering how someone else is doing compared to what you’re experiencing in life right now—or if this person has something more than what you do—remember:

  • Life isn’t fair; it’s not meant for everyone to be equal. Some people will succeed where others fail; some people will be happy while others struggle; some people will find love when others don’t even know how much they need love until it’s too late…and so on! And those differences are okay; no one should ever feel bad about themselves just because another person has something better than them (unless their goal is world domination).


The key takeaway from this article should be that it’s okay to be different. In fact, we should all celebrate our differences! By doing so, we will become more compassionate towards others and less likely to compare ourselves to them. When you are able to accept yourself as an individual with unique qualities, then you can focus on what makes you happy instead of worrying about what others might think of your choices in life.

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