Being ditched by a friend
When you’re in a relationship, it’s easy to forget that you were once single and that some of your friends might be ditching you for their new loves. If this is the case with you, here are some ways to deal with it. How to deal with friends who ditch you when in relationships.
Understand why this friend is ditching you.
There are many reasons why your friends might be ditching you. You may want to ask yourself:
- Are they jealous of your success?
- Are they insecure about their own lives and relationships, so they feel intimidated by yours?
- Do they feel threatened by your independence or the fact that you don’t need them as much anymore because you have someone else in your life (and therefore no longer need them as much)?
Keep them in your life.
You may be tempted to cut your friends out completely, but don’t do that. It’s not worth it. They still might reconcile with their significant others and come back around for you again. If they do, you’ll want them as a friend in your life. And if they don’t, then at least there was an opportunity for closure and growth on both sides of things.
If you can’t be friends with them anymore because they’ve become toxic or toxic influences on your life (or vice versa), then let go of them gracefully and move on to better things!
Distance yourself from negativity.
The first thing you need to do is distance yourself from the negativity. Don’t let your friend’s relationship influence your own, and don’t let them drag you down with them. You don’t have to be there for them 24/7 just because they are going through a rough patch in their relationship. There will be plenty of time for that later on when things get better. They might try to manipulate or guilt trip you into doing things with them when really all they want is someone who will listen to their problems without judgment or criticism, but don’t fall for it!
If being around these people makes you feel bad about yourself or makes it hard for your own relationships then maybe it’s time for some space between yourself and these toxic friends (and maybe even some therapy).
Reflect on your friendship and be honest with yourself.
When you’ve been dumped, it’s easy to assume that your friend has decided that you are no longer worthy of their time or attention. But before you assume anything and make an angry Facebook post about how much they suck, take a step back and look at the situation from a different perspective: what if they were just as surprised by this break-up as you?
It’s possible that your friend didn’t realize how unhappy he was until he started dating someone else–and now, he sees how much better off he could be with someone else instead of being stuck in an unsatisfying relationship with his current girlfriend (you).
The best way to find out whether or not this is true is by asking yourself some hard questions about both yourself and your friendship:
Focus on the positives of that friendship.
If you find yourself in a situation where your friend has ditched you for their new love interest, don’t let it ruin your other friendships. Instead, focus on what you gained from the friendship and how those positives will help you in the future. For example:
- You learned how to deal with jealousy when dating someone else’s ex-boyfriend or girlfriend (or vice versa).
- You know how much work goes into maintaining a serious relationship and can appreciate how difficult it must be for your friend who is now in one.
If this particular friendship was important enough for them to choose between keeping it alive or cutting ties completely (and if they still have an open line of communication), then keep working at it! Don’t let petty squabbles get between two friends who could otherwise learn from each other’s experiences and perspectives on life. Especially since those experiences may differ greatly depending on gender identity/sexual orientation/ethnicity/etcetera!
Don’t let others define you.
Let’s face it: We all have friends who ditch us when they get into relationships. You know the type–they’re always with their significant other and never have time for you anymore. But this doesn’t mean that your entire life should be defined by their behavior, and it’s important not to let other people define who you are or how much value they place on your friendship.
You are the only person who gets to decide what kind of person you are, so don’t let someone else tell you otherwise! Focus on yourself and what makes YOU happy instead of worrying about whether or not others will approve of those choices (because they won’t).
Sometimes friends aren’t meant to stay in your life forever. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t have value or that you should forget about them completely
If a friend ditches you for someone else, it’s not easy to take. You may feel hurt and confused when they disappear from your life without warning or explanation–and those feelings are valid.
But remember: this person isn’t your life partner! They’re just a coworker or classmate or acquaintance who happened to be around when you both needed each other at one point in time. It’s okay if they move on with their lives while yours continues as normal (or better). If they were really worth keeping around, then maybe they wouldn’t have been so quick to leave when things got serious between them and their new partner.
Don’t let friends who ditch you define who you are as an individual; don’t let them take up too much of your time and energy; don’t let them make you feel bad about yourself; don’t let them make changes based solely upon their opinions of who/what type of person would make an acceptable partner for others
Conclusion
Don’t let your friend’s actions make you feel bad about yourself. If they are leaving you behind because they want more time with their partner, then it’s not your fault. You can still be happy for them and still maintain a healthy friendship with them at the same time.
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