Have an identity outside of your relationship

“YOUR IDENTITY IS YOUR MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION. PROTECT IT.” – ELASTIGIRL, THE INCREDIBLES

Honestly, this is a pet peeve of mine and I think that a lot of people can relate. Have you ever had a friend or someone close to you disappear into space when they get in a relationship. But wait fort, try to come back to you if things do not work out? So, that’s what I will be talking about today, because I think that this is something alot of women need to here. The reason I say women, because this is not as big as a problem for men as it is for most of us.

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So , when you’re in a relationship, you go through stages and they’re natural. You know that honey moon stage:

“The short amount of time at the beginning of a new relationshipactivity, or pursuit when everything goes well and seems to be free of problems.”

That stage is cute in the moment and it’s understandable that your friends are “under water” and more focused on their significant other. However, that should only last for that set amount of time. When that “new car” smell wears off and you’re brought back to reality. There are women who still will not speak with others because things are going amazing in their relationship. Which brings me to the topic at hand.

The topic at hand is making sure you have an identity outside of your relationship I have known many people who alter themselves change for the negative, just for the simple fact of keeping a relationship. When you ask him how they doing there like “oh me and my boyfriend… “Or anything like that and I’m just like, no, I asked how are you doing not how you and your man are doing.

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It’s just really sad when a girl has no hobbies, no friends, or anything outside of their relationship because their relationship is literally them that how they use that to describe their life and their purpose of being on this planet. And that’s really exciting for the simple fact that you were put on this earth for more than being Someone’s Wife or being someone’s girlfriend. What were you created to do, were you created to write, act, there is more to you than just being someone’s other half. Let me rephrase that you shouldn’t be someone’s other half you should be someone’s other hole. So, what really bugs me is having people I called friends who once they get in a relationship they dropped off the planet of the earth and that’s for the simple fact that I’m not just gonna be here for you to come back if things don’t work out like obviously I want to support you however don’t forget me when things are going amazing for your relationship. You can hang out with friends and family and still have a thriving relationship.

Come on now you guys all know what I’m talking about. Do you have that friend who is always in a relationship, which there’s nothing wrong so many love being in a relationship but that’s a different topic for a different day. However, that friend who wants there in that relationship they are nowhere to be found. You want to go out for a cuppa coffee just one cup of coffee, and they either have to bring her boyfriend along or they just don’t come at all because they want to be with their man. And that really sucks for the simple fact that you just want to hang out with your friend, you were that person that was there before the boyfriend. It is literally just one cup of coffee. I just really want it engraved and you guys head that it is OK to do things outside of your relationship. You were still respecting a relationship but at the end of the day let’s just say we took away your significant other. Would you still be able to go through life, would you be able to manage?

Below is a video explaining further what I am talking about!

So this is my call to action! Make sure you have things going for yourself outside of the relationship. Build up your career! Go hang out with those friends! Have a hobby! Start a business! You guys get where I’m going with this just make sure that if that person was taken away from you that your life in a way of being wasn’t taken away as well. That is all for today I hope you guys enjoy the post and share it with anyone you may know need it! Like, subscribe, comment. And I will see you on the next post.

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