Everything you should know about trauma bonds
Trauma bonds are a highly controversial topic, and most professionals won’t even talk about them. But if you’ve ever been abused in love or friendship, it’s important to understand what they are and how they work. When people have experienced trauma, they can develop PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) and suffer from flashbacks, anxiety, and depression. Trauma bonds are an extreme form of this. An unhealthy relationship is where one person uses power and control over another in order to keep them dependent on them. We’ve all heard stories about how bad relationships can be addictive—but what makes these relationships so hard to break is that they’re also traumatic experiences that affect your brain chemistry in ways that make it difficult for victims to leave their abusers behind forever
When you’re in a relationship with someone who’s been abusive, it’s hard to see past the way they make you feel.
It’s hard to see past the way someone makes you feel. When we’re in a relationship with someone who’s been abusive, it becomes very difficult for us to think about anything other than how much we love them and how grateful we are for them. It’s like being addicted to drugs: Our brains get used to getting just enough dopamine from our partners that they become the only thing that feels good anymore. We don’t want anything else–we can’t imagine ever feeling better than this high they provide us with every day.
Sometimes it can be harder to get out of an abusive relationship. Than it is to leave an abusive parent, sibling or friend.
The truth is, they can be harder to break than other kinds of relationships. And that’s because trauma bonds are often stronger than other types of connections.
Trauma bonds develop when there is an imbalance of power between two people. One person feels controlled by the other and has no way out. In many cases, this dynamic includes physical or sexual violence. As well as threats of harm if the victim tries to leave their abuser.
Because those in abusive situations are so desperate for love and acceptance from their abusers. (and because their abusers know how much they want those things). Sometimes it takes years for victims to finally find the courage and strength needed to leave an abusive relationship. Even if they know deep down that staying will only make things worse for them in the long run.
These days, many people have experienced some sort of trauma in their lives.
Trauma is a broad term that can encompass anything from physical or emotional abuse to sexual assault, natural disaster and car accidents. Trauma bonds are most commonly associated with domestic violence survivors or those who have been kidnapped by terrorists or held captive in war zones.
In the case of domestic violence, for example, the perpetrator doesn’t need to use physical force to create an environment where their victim feels trapped and unable to leave them. They simply use psychological manipulation tactics like gaslighting (telling someone they’re crazy) or threats of physical harm if the victim tries to run away from home.
This makes it difficult for some people who have experienced trauma not only because they’ve been mentally manipulated by another person. B but also because they may have become so accustomed to living with this type of abuse over time that it’s become second nature for them. Thus making it harder for them realize what’s happening until something drastic happens (like their partner hits them).
Trauma bonds can be stronger than other kinds of relationships.
Trauma bonds can be stronger than other kinds of relationships. The reason for this is that they are formed in the midst of trauma when people feel most vulnerable and helpless. It’s not uncommon for someone with a history of abuse or neglect to form strong attachments with their abusers. Because they don’t know any better or have any other options available to them at the time.
For example, say you’re a young girl who was raised by an alcoholic father who frequently beat you and your mom up until he finally left home one day never to be heard from again (this situation isn’t uncommon). In this scenario, your dad was both an abuser and a caregiver. He provided food and shelter but also hurt you physically and emotionally every day for years on end!
Because of all this pain being inflicted upon her throughout her childhood years by someone she trusted implicitly as her protector/provider/father figure (or whatever role he played), she ended up forming a very strong attachment toward him despite everything else going on around here which would otherwise make such attachments seem inappropriate: after all no one wants their dad hitting them!
The thing about trauma bonds though is that although they can often feel really strong at first glance. And sometimes even seem like love. They don’t actually love at all; rather these types
Trauma bonds develop when one person uses power and control to keep another person dependent on them.
Trauma bonds develop when one person uses power and control to keep another person dependent on them. The person with power and control often becomes like a drug to the other, who desperately wants that addictive feeling back again. Power and control are a cycle: the more you use it. The greater your need for it becomes until you feel like your life depends on having it in order to survive.
The person with power may have been traumatized first. But they don’t necessarily identify themselves as being abused because their experience wasn’t traumatic enough for them; therefore, they don’t see themselves as being victimized by anything at all! In fact, many times these individuals will tell others that they were never abused. Because they have no idea what abuse looks like from outside of this dynamic (and neither do we).
The person with power and control often becomes like a drug to the other person. Who desperately wants that addictive feeling back again.
The person with power and control often becomes like a drug to the other person. Who desperately wants that addictive feeling back again.
The person with power and control is the one who needs to change their behavior. The only way for this to happen is for them to be held accountable for their actions. By those around them. Friends, family members, and therapists alike. In addition, there are some things you can do on your own:
- Take time away from your partner if possible. Even just an hour or two away from them will help you regain some perspective on what’s happening in your relationship
- Talk honestly about how they make you feel when they treat you poorly. Let them know how much it hurts when they act like this
People can’t usually break free until they realize the truth about their situation. That they’ve been exploited by someone who is abusing them.
The truth is often hard to see. The truth is often painful.
It can be hard to accept, and it can take time for people to realize that they’re in a relationship with an abusive partner. Especially if they’ve been brainwashed into thinking that their abuser loves them and would never hurt them. Even though he or she has been doing exactly that for months or years.
The truth may also seem unbelievable at first: How could someone who claimed from the start that he wanted something serious turn out this way? Many victims wonder if there was some kind of mistake or misunderstanding leading up until now. After all, “love” doesn’t always look like what we expect! But when you’re dealing with trauma bonds. There really isn’t any other explanation than manipulation by another person who wants complete control over your life. And when we say “complete,” we mean every aspect: physical safety included (or not).
It can take time and therapy to fully heal from trauma bonds and regain your sense of self-worth
Breaking a trauma bond is not easy, and it’s not something that can be done overnight. It’s important to remember that breaking the cycle of abuse is an ongoing process. And there’s no one-size-fits-all solution for getting out of it. If you’re in an abusive relationship and want help getting out. The best thing you can do is visit a therapist who specializes in trauma bonding. They will help you understand why this happened to you and how it affects your life now. And they’ll also teach you tools so that the next time someone tries to use these tactics on their partner or loved one. They can recognize them right away!
Conclusion
If you’re in a relationship with someone who’s been abusive. It’s hard to see past the way they make you feel. The person with power and control often becomes like a drug to the other person. Who desperately wants that addictive feeling back again. People can’t usually break free until they realize the truth about their situation. That they’ve been exploited by someone who is abusing them.
