unbloomed white flower bud placed on opened book

Being desired physically but never mentally

Don’t get caught up in the ‘look’ thing. Sometimes, we as men and women, the first thing that attracts us to someone is their physical appearance, and that’s not always a good thing because what’s good on the outside is not always good on the inside.

Keith Sweat


Hey loves and welcome back to Joi’s Journey of perception!

What does it feel like to have someone want you for what’s on your mind? Today, I want to get something off my mind, because it’s been heavy on my mind since college. And yes, I am about to be real with this rant. Most people will not understand, but that is the whole point of my blog. To show a different perspective. Today’s topic is sort of deep. As you can tell by the title, I am speaking on “BEING DESIRED PHYSICALLY BUT NEVER MENTALLY”. I’ve talked about pretty privilege and the pros and cons. Take a listen below.

The Pros

After you listen, you understand what perspective I will be speaking from. So, I have lived with pretty privilege, so although there are pros, one of the worst cons is people never getting past your looks and wanting to get to know you. Now, I am young and have not lived long enough, but in my life experience all men do is focus on my looks. And look towards me as some sort of challenge. No, I’m not sleeping with every one of them. But they think it’s some sort of accomplishment to claim me to the boys.

I feel it is important not to get overly obsessed and overly carried away with just the physical aspect. There is more to beauty than just the physical appearance. You are also a complete person, and a woman should have an identity beyond just the way she looks.

Katrina Kaif


In college, this dude had the biggest crush on me. It was obvious that it was because of the way I look because he didn’t even know my last name. I mean I get it, looks do play a part, but he didn’t even want to take the time to get to know my aura or my passions. Later, I find out, that his boys had a competition of who could get me to fall the first. This really sucked because I actually treasured him. Later, after. a couple of years without talking. We decided to be cordial. Tell me why this man says “wow you’re actually a dope girl”. I’m like you would’ve known if you got to understand me.

Are you a Trophy?

It’s like they don’t see me as human, more like some sort of trophy for them to compete to get. I’m not an object. The only time I do get compliments on my energy, it’s from the energy vampires who are there to drain me.

I understand that beauty is fleeting, but if you took the time to get to know me, you would realize that there is more to me than just beauty. Now that I think about it, the only things men talk about in their simple conversations are my appearance or “wyd,” which is why I find them so boring. I’m much too smart to engage in forced chats.


Can any of you relate? Let me know in the comments. I know it can’t just be me. Also, be sure to like, comment, share, and Subscribe.

6 thoughts on “Being desired physically but never mentally

  1. Definitely relatable! I’m married now, and have a wonderful husband – and that’s because he wanted to KNOW me, and encouraged me to be 100% myself – and still does. Even as a married woman, I still run into men who want to be friends, but conversations quickly turn to feel inappropriate from their end, and I end up ending the friendship. Even if they’re just joking, friendships need to feel with men the same as they do with women… Sans sexual innuendos. I don’t have time for that anymore.

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: