Are they a narcissist? 5 red flags to look for

Are they a narcissist?

If you’re looking for someone to love, you probably have a few criteria in mind. Maybe they’re tall and handsome with a great sense of humor. Or maybe they’re smart and sensitive (like me!). But if your partner doesn’t meet all these requirements. If they only have one trait that makes them stand out from every other person on planet Earth. Then they might be narcissistic (Are they a narcissist?). And while there are some people who are just naturally narcissistic (like my ex), many more possess traits like these:

1. They have a deep need for attention

Narcissists crave attention, and they will do whatever it takes to get it. They may be a bit of a drama queen or show-off, but they can also be very charming and charismatic. Narcissists don’t need to be the center of attention; in fact, they thrive on being an observer rather than a participant.

2. They’re inconsistent

  • They’re inconsistent

Narcissists can be very inconsistent in their behavior and expectations of you. Which is one of the most obvious signs that they’re not just a little bit narcissistic but rather a full-blown narcissist. You may have an experience with them where they seem nice and sweet at first. But then when you least expect it. Or perhaps after having done something nice for them. They turn on you like a switch and are as cold as ice (not literally).

This type of unpredictability is another clue that your date might be someone with narcissistic tendencies: he or she might tell one person how amazing he/she is while telling another person how inferior everyone else is around him/her. And then again be his/her own worst critic!

3. They’re untrustworthy

  • They lie

Narcissists lie, and they do it for a reason. They lie to get what they want and avoid getting in trouble for the things that go wrong. Sometimes the lies are big (like when you’re trying to keep a secret from someone). And sometimes they’re small (like when your partner asks where you were last night). Either way, if someone is lying all the time. Or even most of the time. There’s a chance it’s because they genuinely don’t know how to tell the truth most of the time.

4. They claim to be spiritual, even though they lack empathy

  • They claim to be spiritual, even though they lack empathy

Narcissists are often very religious. The word “spiritual” means that they want their own way and don’t care about others or how their actions affect them. They will say things like: “I’m a spiritual person because I know that God created us in his image.” But this is just an excuse for selfish behavior because narcissists aren’t really interested in others’ well-being–only their own. If you see a person claiming to be spiritual but failing to show any empathy toward others, then chances are good that they’re only interested in themselves!

5. You can’t trust them with money, or credit cards

If you can’t trust them with money, credit cards, or any other form of financial security. Then they may be a narcissist. Narcissists are unable to trust others with their own personal information. They perceive themselves as the most important person in the world and therefore don’t feel comfortable sharing things like bank accounts or passwords with anyone else. They believe that if someone else has access to their bank account, it means that they’ve been unfaithful in some way. And this is an offense punishable by death (or at least social suicide).

Narcissists also tend not to give out their phone number because again: people could steal it! This is another reason why narcissists aren’t good candidates for dating apps. If someone wants an opportunity for contact but refuses all requests from strangers who want nothing more than just asking “how are things going”? Then no amount of swiping will help matters go better than they already have gone…

Be careful not to get involved with a narcissist or their codependent friends!

Narcissists are tricky to spot. They can be very charming, and they often know how to get people on their side. They’re also good at getting people around them to feel sorry for them, which makes them seem like victims in your eyes when in fact they’re the ones who have done all of the controlling and manipulating.

If you have a friend or family member who seems manipulative and is always trying to get others’ attention, this could be because they have an unhealthy narcissistic relationship with someone else! This person may be enabling their partner by keeping silent about what your friend/family member does (when it’s not OK), or even enabling his/her bad behavior by lying about what happened between the two of them. And maybe even thinking it’s acceptable for both parties involved because “love makes us do crazy things.”


Narcissists, or people who have been diagnosed with narcissism, are often charismatic and seem like they have a lot of love to share. But they’re actually very difficult to deal with. Because they’re not really interested in being around other people. They only want to be around themselves and their friends/family members.

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