What to do when your ex keeps trying to come back
Breaking up is never easy. But what happens when your ex just won’t let go? Maybe they keep calling, texting, or finding reasons to “accidentally” run into you. Maybe they say they’ve changed or that they can’t stop thinking about you.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone.
When your ex keeps trying to come back, it can stir up old emotions and confusion. Especially if part of you still cares. But learning how to handle these moments with confidence and clarity is key to protecting your peace and emotional well-being.
Let’s talk about what to do when your ex won’t stay gone.
1. Don’t Let Yourself Get Pulled Back In
It’s tempting to answer that late-night text or grab coffee “just to talk.” But here’s the truth: if you broke up for a reason, those reasons still exist.
If your ex is trying to pull you back in, pause before responding. Ask yourself:
- Am I doing this because I miss them or because I’m lonely?
- Have they actually changed, or are they just nostalgic?
Remember: every time you reopen a closed chapter, you risk reopening old wounds. Protect your boundaries and remind yourself. Walking away isn’t weakness; it’s self-respect.
2. Watch Out for Manipulation Tactics
When an ex is determined to come back, they might use guilt, nostalgia, or emotional manipulation to win you over. They might say things like, “I’ve changed,” or “No one will ever love you like I did.”
Don’t let those words cloud your judgment. Emotional manipulation can look like love, but it’s about control. Not connection.
If they truly cared about your healing, they’d respect your space instead of pushing your boundaries.
3. Surround Yourself with Friends Who Keep It Real
When your ex tries to come back, lean on your support system. Especially the friends who remind you of your worth.
Good friends will give you perspective when your heart feels foggy. They’ll help you stay grounded, honest, and strong when your emotions are all over the place.
Pro tip: spend time with friends who don’t entertain the idea of your ex returning. Their clarity will help you remember why you left in the first place.
4. Be Open About How You Feel
You don’t have to bottle things up. Talk to someone you trust or even journal about what’s coming up for you.
If your ex hurt you, admit that. If you still miss them, that’s okay too. Healing isn’t linear. The goal isn’t to pretend you’re fine; it’s to understand your emotions without letting them control you.
The more honest you are with yourself, the stronger your boundaries become.
5. Prepare for the Worst (But Focus on the Present)
If your ex keeps contacting you even after you’ve set boundaries, be prepared. Block their number, unfollow them, and avoid places you know they’ll be.
It’s not about being petty. It’s about protecting your peace.
Sometimes, “closure” doesn’t come from another conversation. It comes from acceptance — realizing that the relationship served its purpose, and now it’s time to move on.
6. Give Yourself Time to Heal
You don’t owe your ex another chance, a reply, or an explanation. What you do owe yourself is time and space to heal.
Whether it’s a month or a year, give yourself grace. Go to therapy, journal, take a solo trip. Do whatever helps you reconnect with you.
Healing isn’t about forgetting the person. It’s about remembering who you were before them and growing into someone even stronger.
💬 Final Thoughts
When your ex keeps trying to come back, it can test your boundaries, patience, and emotions. But remember. You’re not obligated to reopen doors that were closed for a reason.
Trust your gut. Stay grounded. And don’t settle for what’s comfortable when you deserve what’s right.
Your peace > their persistence. Always. 💖
Always be willing to talk about anything, even if it’s about the ex.
When you’re going through a breakup, this is probably your first thought: “What should I talk about?” It’s natural to want to avoid talking about what happened. But remember that your ex isn’t the only person who feels hurt by their relationship ending. You have a right to be angry at both of you and feel badly about how it ended.
So talk! Tell him or her how much they hurt you. Also tell them all of your reasons for dumping his/her ass (or not dumping his/her ass). Talk about why things broke down between the two of you. If he or she cheated on you, let him know that there will never be any reason for anyone else to cheat on him/her again. Because there’s no way anyone could ever compare with how amazing YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND/GIRLFRIEND WAS…
- The Fall Skincare Switch Nobody Tells You to Make
As seasons change, skincare routines need to adapt due to lower humidity impacting skin hydration. Switch to richer moisturizers, gentler cleansers, and reduce exfoliation frequency to prevent sensitivity. Consider using a humidifier to combat dry indoor air. Monitor skin’s response and adjust products accordingly for optimal results. - 6 Nightly Rituals to Actually Wind Down Before Bed
A successful wind-down routine signals your body that the day has ended, promoting better sleep. Instead of mindlessly scrolling, engage in calming activities like reading or crafting, adjust the room temperature, and create scent cues. Establish consistent rituals to ease the transition to sleep, allowing you to rest more naturally. - How to Break the Fall Doom-Scroll Habit, According to How Habits Actually Form
The piece discusses the ineffectiveness of willpower in breaking habitual phone scrolling. Instead, it suggests interrupting the habit loop by altering cues, routines, and rewards. Practical strategies include making the phone less accessible and providing engaging alternatives, reinforcing that breaking the cycle requires less discipline and more thoughtful adjustments in behavior. - The Version of Me I Kept Workable
The content explores the emotional exhaustion of deliberately staying soft to gain love from others, leading to self-neglect. The author reflects on crafting poetry about personal growth, transitioning from being moldable to embracing a strong, independent self. Ultimately, the book “Clay” celebrates the journey of self-acceptance and resilience. - Before Love Takes Form, There Is Mud
The author reflects on personal transformation through the metaphor of pottery, illustrating the process of shaping one’s identity. Each poetic stage, from dry clay to bisque firing, symbolizes different phases of becoming. Ultimately, the journey reveals that the author is not merely shaped by others but is the potter of her own life.
Discover more from Joi's Journey of Perception
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.