Because Not Every “Confident” Person Has Good Intentions
Let’s talk about something that every woman, especially in her 20s and 30s, needs to know: how to spot a narcissist before you get too deep.
Narcissists don’t always walk into your life wearing a name tag. They’re often charming, confident, successful, and charismatic. At first. But behind the smooth talk and grand gestures can lie a toxic cycle that leaves you emotionally drained and questioning your worth.
So let’s break it down:
How do you actually spot a narcissist?
1. They Love-Bomb You Early On
At first, it might feel like a dream.
They’re obsessed with you, texting nonstop, saying things like “I’ve never met anyone like you,” or “I could see myself marrying you” after only a few weeks. While some people genuinely feel connection fast, narcissists use love-bombing as a tool to hook you emotionally and create dependency.
🛑 Red flag: Over-the-top compliments and intense declarations early on, especially if they quickly want exclusivity or commitment.
2. They Lack True Empathy
Empathy is the ability to sit with someone in their feelings. Narcissists often pretend to care, but the second your emotions inconvenience them or make them uncomfortable, they shut down or turn it around on you.
You might hear:
- “Why are you so sensitive?”
- “I’m not responsible for how you feel.”
- “You’re always playing the victim.”
🛑 Red flag: They make your pain about them, or brush it off entirely.
3. They’re Always the Victim or the Star
Narcissists tend to see themselves in extremes. In one breath, they’re the hero, the most amazing person in the room. In the next, they’re the one who’s always been hurt or misunderstood.
If every story they tell makes them the victim, or they constantly talk about how people are jealous of them or don’t treat them right. It’s not a coincidence. Narcissists crave control of the narrative.
🛑 Red flag: They can’t take accountability or admit they’ve been wrong.
4. They Gaslight You Subtly
One of the most damaging traits of a narcissist is gaslighting. They make you question your own reality by denying things they said, flipping the script, or blaming your “overthinking.”
You might leave a conversation thinking,
“Wait… am I the problem?”
🛑 Red flag: You constantly feel confused, anxious, or like you have to “prove” your feelings are valid.
5. Their Charm Has a Shelf Life
Narcissists are great at first impressions. They know how to say what you want to hear. But as soon as you stop feeding their ego or setting boundaries, the mask starts to slip.
Their charm turns to criticism.
Their praise turns to passive aggression.
Lastly, their “interest” turns to emotional punishment.
🛑 Red flag: They withdraw love or attention the moment you assert yourself.
6. Your Self-Worth Starts to Decline
Here’s the hardest part. Narcissistic people have a way of eroding your confidence slowly over time. They subtly compare you to others, ignore your wins, or make you feel like you’re always falling short.
If you look back and realize you’ve felt smaller since they came into your life—that’s not love. That’s manipulation.
🛑 Red flag: You feel like you’re losing pieces of yourself just to keep their approval.
Final Thoughts:
Not everyone who’s confident is a narcissist.
Not everyone who makes a mistake is gaslighting you.
But when you spot patterns. Especially those that make you feel confused, belittled, or emotionally unstable. I’s time to take a step back and protect your peace.
You are not crazy. You are not too sensitive.
You’re just finally seeing clearly.
If You’re Healing from Narcissistic Abuse:
You are not alone. Whether it was a romantic relationship, a toxic friendship, or even a family member. Your healing is valid.
Keep choosing clarity over chaos and self-worth over survival mode.
💌 Want more real talk like this?
Subscribe to my newsletter or check out my poetry books. Because healing doesn’t have to be quiet.
- Foods That Support Your Nervous System (When Life Feels Overstimulating)
During stressful times, nourishing your body with the right foods can support your nervous system. Incorporating complex carbohydrates, healthy fats, magnesium-rich foods, protein, warm meals, and fermented foods helps stabilize mood, promotes relaxation, and maintains emotional balance. Consistency in dietary choices fosters healing and well-being without the need for perfection. - Things That Helped Me After Betrayal
Betrayal affects individuals deeply, altering feelings of safety and trust. Healing is a gradual process that involves allowing oneself to feel pain, creating distance for clarity, journaling emotions, establishing routines for stability, and rebuilding self-trust. It emphasizes the importance of emotional safety while maintaining boundaries and embracing healing at one’s own pace. - Simple Ways to Feel More Feminine in Your Everyday Routine
Embracing femininity is about personal expression, not conforming to molds. Simple daily rituals, such as gentle morning routines, wearing what makes you feel good, and practicing self-care, can enhance your feminine energy. Connecting with your senses and honoring emotions fosters authenticity and resilience, making femininity a powerful, nurturing journey. - Home Habits That Support Emotional Stability: Creating Peace in Your Everyday Space
Creating a calming home environment is essential for emotional stability. Establish consistent daily routines, designate a calm space, declutter to reduce mental overwhelm, use soothing scents and lighting, incorporate nature, limit digital distractions, and practice mindful movement. These habits foster inner peace and resilience, shaping a supportive inner world. - Your “I Have Nothing to Eat” Grocery List: Essentials to Keep You Covered
The content provides a practical grocery list of essential items for women to keep on hand, aimed at alleviating the frustration of “nothing to eat” moments. It covers pantry staples, fridge favorites, frozen foods, and quick snacks, emphasizing convenience and nutrition to simplify meal preparation amidst busy lifestyles.