“Remember that life’s greatest lessons are learned at the worst times from the worst mistakes”
There is always your typical advice people give you when entering college. Especially for women. “You will find your soulmate in college” or “Dating will be fun”. I have never been so disappointed in my life. Boy have those expectations changed. If I had to give any woman younger than me any advice on dating in college, I have wrapped my advice into 5 rules:
1. You are going to get hurt!
Ever heard someone say “Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us”… I know I know cliche much? Well, it’s true! Those assholes you have to go through, only brings you closer to the man you’re meant to be with. I know I know, if you wanted Milton Bradley, you would go to Target, but think about it, those games only make you stronger. You’ll understand who to stay away from. So thank those assholes, they did you a favor.
2. Learn the game to play the game!
Guys love a great game. They love a chase. Some will even take it so far as to manipulate you into doing things for their benefits. They can’t play someone who already knows the game. I’m not saying go out there and break the hearts of the few good guys we have left. What I’m saying is, be cautious! Be cautious with your heart! Be cautious with your money! But most importantly, be cautious with your time! Learn how a guy moves and move the same way as him. If he is talking to multiple girls including you, don’t throw away your little black book in the beginning. He needs to know you have options too. Alls fair in love and war Sweetie.
3. These guys are not mature yet!
And the Oscar goes to…Your average college boy! These guys are amazing actors. Pretending to have everything together and be this mature man that we hope for. I’m not saying all of them, but most guys are still in their childish ways. Researchers have said that men mature emotionally 11 years after women. These college boys are immature. Do not expect anything too serious or mature from these boys when they aren’t mature themselves.
4. These boys do not know what they want
We usually know what we want in a man. Looks, personality, qualities..Guys aren’t quite on that level. They want everything, especially in their twenties. They need to get it out of them. Like us, boys need to find what they like too. It’s like taking a man to a Buffett. They want a taste of everything. Keep this in mind when dating in your 20’s.
5. Have a hoe phase!
I’m not saying sleep with every guy on campus. No judging on anyone that does. I’m saying experiment and date around. This will help you figure out who you are and what you like. It’s much easier to have a hookup buddy than a boyfriend. Don’t nobody have time to be crying about a breakup minutes before an exam. Ignore the double standard and go out and enjoy yourself. I have always said that everyone needs a hoe phase because it helps them to learn to appreciate having one person is so much better than multiple.
Remember! You are in college to get your education. These are the prime years of your life. Do not rush to get into a relationship. Men will always be there other opportunities won’t. It has taken me a while to learn these lessons. Trust me, I struggled my entire college career with heartbreaks and self-esteem. These lessons will help you enjoy college like you are supposed to. I’m not saying a relationship in college is impossible. That’s not what I’m saying at all. What I am saying is don’t go to college looking for one. You will waste your time!
There are so many pieces of advice that I feel I can share with them. As a result, I have gained so much knowledge and wisdom. I’m thinking about maybe doing an e-book! Let me know what you guys think.