” I LIKE BEING ALONE. I HAVE CONTROL OF OVER MY OWN SHIT. THEREFORE, IN ORDER TO WIN ME OVER, YOUR PRESENCE HAS TO FEEL BETTER THAN MY SOLITUDE. YOU’RE NOT COMPETING WITH ANOTHER PERSON, YOU’RE COMPETING WITH MY COMFORT ZONES”–HORACIO JONES
I don’t know if it’s just a fear or people are ashamed of it, but have you noticed that when it comes to the discussion of being single, it only has negative connotations? It’s like everyone thinks all of their problems are going to resolve once they get in a relationship, or that they will truly be happy once they find someone.
I truly think people forget how many pros there are being single. I’ll give you a few and if you ever start feeling sad about being single, you can come back to this post. Remember, there is a difference in being alone and being lonely.
One perk of being single is obviously the amount of freedom you have. Remember when you were living with your parents and you would have to give them a heads up of what you were doing or who you would be with? Being in a relationship is kind of like that. You rarely can do spur of the moments things without letting your significant other know due to the fact that they may be worried about your safety…or God forbid, you’re in a toxic situation and they are insecure and must know your every one of your moves.
You also don’t have to alter your lifestyle in order to fit someone else. Usually in a relationship, you have two different type of people with two different lifestyles and one person may have to alter theirs to fit the others. Imagine a “party all night” person being in a relationship with a homebody. If the trust isn’t built, the party person may not get to go out as much. There are a lot of sacrifices involved.
Another perk about being single is, saving your hard-earned money or having the choice of what you spend it on. If you’re anything like me, you are hesitant on spending your money and it hurts spending it, especially on unnecessary things. Your pockets are always on full. Don’t get me wrong, when you get in a fully committed relationship or marriage, having two incomes is lit, but if you’re just in the beginning of a relationship or dating just to say that you’re dating, you’re probably cautious about what you spend your money on. You save so much money when you are single.
The fourth thing that makes being single lit is, pressure and stress. We all already have enough stress in life, but once you get in a relationship it adds on so much more. Your partner stresses also somehow becomes yours. If their stress is something you were not prepared for, then it can be overwhelming. I refuse to keep going to therapy for people, especially men because it can take a toll on you. A lot of people hop into relationships with emotional baggage and not being healed from previous situations. I don’t suggest anyone deal with people like that.
Now there a tons of other reasons to be happy you are single. These are just a few. I think you should just focus on yourself instead of comparing your “happy ever after” to others, because that’s what puts you down. You don’t need that energy.
There is a place and time for everything. A time to be single and enjoy it it. A time to be dating. A time to be in a relationship. A time to be engaged and a time of marriage. I have learned not to rush any of these seasons, because I don’t want to regret it in the future. I think everyone should live with this mindset.